Aug. 22nd, 2012

sweetsalome: (knees to chest)
No joke, Salome changed her mind sixteen times when trying to decided if she wanted to meet her birth mom.  It wasn't that she was scared but there was a real thought and fear that she would just lose it in the middle of the conversation and she didn't want to lose it.  Her father would get upset at Amanda and it wasn't this woman's fault that Salome can't keep it together.  Without ever sitting down to eat a family meal she was already anxious about how to handle both mom and dad - together.

Not that this woman is her mom, but she did give birth to her and that should be recognized in some way, another thing that Sal found herself anxious about.

She is going to throw up.

Sweaty palms, stomach in knots, yeah, this was going to be a pleasant sit down meal.  How could she be so easy and confident with her father but impossibly upset at the idea of meeting this stranger?  The whole idea of being rejected, that she would be looked at and passed over, again by this woman who she desperately wants approval from.  Her father's love is sealed inside of her, even if she sometimes questioned it.  This is different.

Perched on the edge of a hotel chair, head in her hands she stared at her toes, trying to will herself to take deep breaths and not freak out.  There is no reason why this should be so fucking hard.


sweetsalome: (Default)

February 2013

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