"She means well, I think she keeps thinking that it will all look good on a college application. I really doubt most colleges give a shit if I know how to play the piano or not, though at least I could tap dance for any sort of college interview, I bet that will impress them. I feel like I should love the piano more, I mean, Beethoven loved it . . ." And so should she, end of statement, but the piano is just dead weight and something she has grown to detest. The things she likes the most involve getting out of the house and on her own, she loves the swimming lessons, she loves the sailing lessons, and the riding. The idea of this sort of freedom that come with that.
She has this thought of jumping the fence and just riding off somewhere, forever, far away from the city. She has no idea where these ideas come from but sometimes they crawl around her brain and tighten around it like a noose.
Wait. What.
Extremely fond of her.
Someone has managed to suck all the oxygen out of the room. How did they manage to do that? How did they manage to pull out of the air and blood from her all in a split second? Shorter then that. What's shorter? Planck time. A billionth of a billionth - forty three of them, of a second. Her body feels very cold and she is trying to figure out why and she is trying to come down to earth and cope with this like a normal adult. He had never said anything about anyone before - why now? Why someone now?
Everything is going to change. He is going to leave me. I'm not enough? Why am I not enough?
"Okie-dokie," where did that word even come from? Who is moving her mouth and making noise come out? She is going to cry, that is something very real and completely coming so it's probably best that she should lift herself up from the couch and take her self upstairs.
And so she does. Slowly. And she isn't really thinking about Chinese any more, except maybe she has homework? "I have homework to do." Ah yes, cover your exit, very clever. Now totally go up the stairs, all casual like. Good girl.
no subject
She has this thought of jumping the fence and just riding off somewhere, forever, far away from the city. She has no idea where these ideas come from but sometimes they crawl around her brain and tighten around it like a noose.
Wait. What.
Extremely fond of her.
Someone has managed to suck all the oxygen out of the room. How did they manage to do that? How did they manage to pull out of the air and blood from her all in a split second? Shorter then that. What's shorter? Planck time. A billionth of a billionth - forty three of them, of a second. Her body feels very cold and she is trying to figure out why and she is trying to come down to earth and cope with this like a normal adult. He had never said anything about anyone before - why now? Why someone now?
Everything is going to change. He is going to leave me. I'm not enough? Why am I not enough?
"Okie-dokie," where did that word even come from? Who is moving her mouth and making noise come out? She is going to cry, that is something very real and completely coming so it's probably best that she should lift herself up from the couch and take her self upstairs.
And so she does. Slowly. And she isn't really thinking about Chinese any more, except maybe she has homework? "I have homework to do." Ah yes, cover your exit, very clever. Now totally go up the stairs, all casual like. Good girl.