sweetsalome | (no subject)

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Life is busy and full, there is always something to do, some place to go.

School, home, practice, homework, some lesson, some other extra circular activity on the day planner. It has been like this ever since she could remember. There isn't ever a whole lot of down time. At some point she decided that she was a shark, any stopping would mean she would completely die.

Or something equally dramatic.

Shutting the front door with her hip, she drops her back pack near the front door and continues further into the house, tossing her gym bag into the laundry room without much of a thought before stepping into the kitchen to find food. Yes, food, there must be something because she is starving.

Headphones in, ipod on, inner debating warring on if she should even bother starting her homework now or waiting for study hall.

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Richard moans, lets his darling little girl tear him up, flail and claw and bite in his arms like a kitten getting too wound up during a play-fight. The sight and sensation is breathtaking, utterly beautiful, and so pure. His sweet girl, more exposed than any man has ever made her, having a moment so pure that it strikes him as surprising that he doesn't burn up to touch her while she drowns in rapture.

Now that is sheer beauty.

"I know, baby, daddy's here. I'm right here." Slowly, gently, his fingers slip from her while her face disappears against his chest the way it always has when she's frightened, or sleepy, or shy, or sweet. His soaked fingers lift to his mouth and he licks them clean, the taste of her streaking through him with a shudder at how real all this is, and how wonderful she tastes.

Already, he wants more of her, and already he can see how big an issue this is going to be, not just because she's going to throw a fit once she finds out he has no plans on leaving Delilah, but because once his girlfriend moves in, it's going to be difficult to sneak around. There's always a way, of course, always, and it's not as though Delilah will be lingering around all the time, always, once she meets Salome and once she moves in. But with this to hide from Delilah, and something decidedly worse to hide from Salome--he'd ought to buy a padlock for the storage freezer in the cellar, that reminds him--things are going to be quite difficult.

Luckily, he enjoys a challenge, and Salome is more than worth it. It's important for a man to be close to his daughter, especially when she's around this age. And as he cradles her close in her afterglow, sings softly to her with his lips against the crown of her head, he fights back a dark grin, indeed.

She feels so blissfully safe, unaware. There, but not there, floating somewhere but completely locked down and unable to totally float away, it is a weird and happy feeling that she is more then happy to embrace. Her head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. What would she do if he wasn't here? There is this fear, sudden and intense, of what would happen if he was not there, holding her and keeping her tied down to realty. When she was very little and it was very quiet she would think such horrible thoughts in the dark of her bedroom. These thoughts would terrify her, the thought of infinity, the idea that something goes on forever and ever and never stops. Like looking into a mirror in front of you to look at a mirror behind you.

She used to think that he would die too. That one day he would disappear, be gone forever, and what would she do then? Where would he go? Where would she go? And she would make herself so sad and so terrified late at night by herself. She thinks about that thought now, about how absolutely alone she would be without him. There needs to be a time when she doesn't so completely depend on him, but he makes it so easy, taking her in, holding her. Invincible, immortal, forever and always.

"I remember when I had to get my tonsils out and I was so scared to go in there and go under. I don't even remember why, I just knew that it was cold and scary. The only time I felt that everything was going to be okay was when you were there. When it was over I remember crying and asking for you. I always remember that, especially late at night, when it's so dark and everything feels so empty and lonely."

Cooing, Richard leans back and glances down into her face, pushing back her hair so he can get a proper glimpse of her eyes, hear her voice unmuffled by anything. His fingertips trace around her ears, his arms fitting perfectly around her as they always have, and his nose brushes against hers as he places a tender kiss of paternal adoration upon the edge of her mouth.

"My poor baby, I remember that. Your mother called me, annoyed that you were asking after me instead of wanting just her." He snorts, lowering, then kisses the tip of her nose. "You know I'll always be there for you when you need it, Salome. You are incredibly important to me." More important than his car or his house. "I am...aware that I am not always the best father in the conventional senses, nor the easiest to get along with from time to time, but you are very dear to me, and I want only the loveliest things for you, my pet. And I will always be there to protect you and keep you safe." His hands tighten reflexively around her and he glances askance, a faint sneer on his lips. "And so help me God, Salome, if anybody ever hurts you, then they will have to answer to me, and the results will not be pretty for them."

Shit knows he gave evil enough looks to boys on the playground who tried to smooch her when she was little. After all this business, if a boy even looks at her crooked he's going to walk away from it missing some teeth.

With a gentle peck at the corner of her eye, Richard comes back to the moment and smiles softly. "It's that old saying. 'A son is a son until he finds a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life.' As long as I can, I'll be here to protect you and comfort you, princess. I promise you."

A slight smile at that. Yes, mother never lets her forget that. She isn't sure how she is supposed to atone for that, or what more the woman wants. It wasn't like she was very conscious of that fact at the time, how mad it made her, how she should have wanted the parent that was there. Not that Susan ever wanted to be there. Sometimes, she gets this very faint impression that she isn't or wasn't wanted. Kids are amazingly perceptive about that, and she has always had a sort of nagging feeling deep within her that she probably wasn't at all planned.

Still, people make do with what they have, what they are given. He hasn't been the most perfect father but then again what father has? It's hard for her to say what is wore or what is better then what she has been given, things seem to move smoothly enough as it is, and she can't recall a time where he flat out told her he never wanted her so he has done at least some things right in raising her.

"You're so protective of me," and she smiles into his chest, hugging him tight before loosening her grip just a little bit. "I know I probably wasn't something you wanted, but I am glad that you're my dad. I can't imagine anyone else but you," her voice is soft and earnest, and she keeps her eyes shut for most of that before she can open them and gaze up at him. She feels very lucky to have him, and outside of their play together as well. Probably not the most emotionally open guy on the planet, he has never denied her (out of necessities) or ever hurt her, and she knows that.

"Can we sleep together tonight?"

It's impossible to know what Susan wants. Richard has no idea what she wants. Obviously, yes, she wants him as a semi-permanent boytoy whom she can have whenever she likes, she likes him as her errand boy-slash-employee, she likes to hold Salome over his head as the greatest debt and threat imaginable, but why, he doesn't quite understand. She claims he has potential, claims she sees him growing more and more every time she sees him, but to what end, he doesn't know. And why him, he doesn't know.

But Salome is worth the occasional irritation of dealing with her insane mother. She was a complete accident, yes, and for the first five or six years of her life his existence was a day-in, day-out horrorshow spurred on by producing a child at nineteen, even one so sweet and adorable as she was when she was little. No nineteen-year-old boy, particularly not one like Richard, is ready for a child. But he finds himself glad he persevered, since these days he's rather grown accustomed to her face.

"You were a surprise, yes. But not unwanted." This is a lie, but he makes it sound gentle, reassuring, earnest and warm. She says such sweet things, his girl, he supposes the least he can do is soften reality to make it gentler for her. "I was younger, and stupider when you were little. But that doesn't mean you were unwanted."

Chuckling, Richard bends to kiss the bridge of her nose. "And I can't imagine a lovelier daughter." For more reasons than one. "Of course you can sleep with me, darling, I already said you could. How could I possibly turn you away after all this? Besides, I want to be able to hold you." He grins, teeth snapping shut a centimeter from the tip of her nose. "But you have to finish at least a bit of your homework before you go to bed."

In the future, he'll have to make sure her work is finished before he lets her get frisky. But, hey, first times are different. Spontaneous and emotional all that. For now, he can more than overlook it.

There is no way for her to tell if he is lying or not. Well, there probably is a way, but she isn't going to go looking for it, for mainly the same reason most people don't go looking for it, the lie is so much nicer then reality. Why question such a beautiful, wonderful lie? Of course she was wanted, it was just a surprise, she can totally buy that, hook, line and sinker. It could be worse, he could have told the truth and that would have crushed her tiny self, and even the fact that he did lie to her can be seen as a sweetness.

Some people will tell themselves crazy stuff to get through the night.

Smiling she snuggles and nuzzles against his chest with a sigh, her hand still roaming over him as he caresses and murmurs to her. Ugh, real life, somewhere outside her bedroom is real life and she should actually deal with it. The worst choice ever to have to make, sleep or food, sleep or food? Because at this point all she wants to do is pass out in his arms and not move for a very long time. Oddly enough she thinks better about complaining and resisting the homework, clearly there is some sort of parenting magic in having sex with your child.

"I'm tired though, and hungry," a sigh against his shoulder and she looks up at him. "I'll do my homework over dinner, how about that?"

Wow. He's not a fan of bargaining, but he'll take it over out-and-out complaining--or, God forbid, whining--any day. Parenting magic, indeed. This is great. It's not only a new way to bond, but it's like a whole new tool in his arsenal in the war that is having a teenager. Once they get over that whole little Delilah issue, things'll be peachy.

Totally.

Richard laughs low, having been only barely holding on to consciousness, himself. "Baby, you've got no idea what hungry and tired feels like. You've taken it right out of me." If nothing else, this is a good fix for his insomnia. "I'm going to have to crawl downstairs."

He stretches, bending down to plant a couple of playful smooches down her neck--has it always been this lovely?--before pulling her down to his chest and kissing the top of her head. His fingertips grope around on the bedside table for the girlie little lamp, and when he shuts it off, his arms drape around her waist. "Let's just take a little nap for a couple of minutes, the food's not going anywhere. I can only pretend to crack the whip about your homework when I'm more awake."

What a peculiar feeling it is, to be lying in his daughter's bed, having completely desecrated it right along with her, that lovely, lithe body up against his with no barrier between their flesh. He grins in the dark of her room and kisses her shoulder, taking a deep breath as much to steady himself as to savor the scent of her.

A stupid idea, and thoughtless, and one that may very well end up scarring the poor girl for life. But she seems to have enjoyed it, and there are certainly worse crimes in the world.

If he had a conscience, he's sure it'd be perfectly clean.

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