Jerry: "They're snorting coke off camera, that's the only way they can get through this. They actually use the knifes to cut the coke off camera."
"You can kill your ex-wife with this one!"
Oh they keep knocking the MASSIVE collections of knives . . . over.
"We're gonna go and battle to the death for these swords" (Katanas.)
"Oh man this guy is totally drunk, he's making stuff up now. Naaannnntooooo."
"You don't references the Never ending story on an hourly bases! You don't know me!"
"Are those BABY swords?" "Yes, so you can raise your toddler to be homicidal maniacs."
"Ron sounds like the kind of guy you would want to buy a shit ton of knives from. Ron will drive to your house and personally deliver this to your house, price of gas only. If you do not pay, Ron will make you pay, so you want to think mighty hard about that 'flex pay' option."
"I will give you 90 dollars, confederate dollars when you buy all these swords. I don't care what your sexual preference is, or orientation, just buy these freaking swords! The bank will foreclose on my house if you do not buy these knives! I will send RON to your house, see that guy in the truck outside? That's Ron, and he does what I tell him and he's got a truck bed full of swords."
"Jesus, how small does your penis have to be in order to own a knife that big?"
". . . I bought that knife just last week."
" 'Unbelievable proportions' is mild?"
"WHAT WIDE STANCE? We got a guess host this evening, Idaho senator, LARRY CRAIG!"
"We're throwin' this big one inta everything tonight! Including that truck load of puppies!"
"We got knives that will not help you survive at any time, anywhere, any place, in history."
"This thing will go through paper I am pretty sure it will go through your epidural layer."
Woman announcer: "I want a big knife, like daddy, a big gun like daddy, and a bow like daddy!"
Jerry: "I wanna drink like daddy, I want to kill things randomly like daddy, I want to beat mommy like daddy."
"Ya got anyone on staff that can do math? I said do we have any homos on staff?"
"I keep expecting to hear sirens in the background."
"Yeah, ATF just busts down the door."
"Ron's in the background trying to flush the knives."
"Executionably retarded NOT to buy these knives. Executionably retarded?! Meaning that if you are culpable enough Texas will execute you."
"Big John, c'mere!"
"OMG what happen to Ron, Ron is on the out!"
"Big John, Ron is passed out in the corner, it's your time to shine!"
"The lesser known Robin hood . . .sword?!"
"Battle Royale! Someone prop Ron up in the chair see if I can slice an apple off his head! He only needs one eye!"
"He only has one eye left."
"Well he hasn't been usin' it! I'm sure he'll remember what porn looks like."
"Ron Model? The founder of Motel 6, he's behind this?"