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Aug. 22nd, 2012 05:47 pmNo joke, Salome changed her mind sixteen times when trying to decided if she wanted to meet her birth mom. It wasn't that she was scared but there was a real thought and fear that she would just lose it in the middle of the conversation and she didn't want to lose it. Her father would get upset at Amanda and it wasn't this woman's fault that Salome can't keep it together. Without ever sitting down to eat a family meal she was already anxious about how to handle both mom and dad - together.
Not that this woman is her mom, but she did give birth to her and that should be recognized in some way, another thing that Sal found herself anxious about.
She is going to throw up.
Sweaty palms, stomach in knots, yeah, this was going to be a pleasant sit down meal. How could she be so easy and confident with her father but impossibly upset at the idea of meeting this stranger? The whole idea of being rejected, that she would be looked at and passed over, again by this woman who she desperately wants approval from. Her father's love is sealed inside of her, even if she sometimes questioned it. This is different.
Perched on the edge of a hotel chair, head in her hands she stared at her toes, trying to will herself to take deep breaths and not freak out. There is no reason why this should be so fucking hard.
Not that this woman is her mom, but she did give birth to her and that should be recognized in some way, another thing that Sal found herself anxious about.
She is going to throw up.
Sweaty palms, stomach in knots, yeah, this was going to be a pleasant sit down meal. How could she be so easy and confident with her father but impossibly upset at the idea of meeting this stranger? The whole idea of being rejected, that she would be looked at and passed over, again by this woman who she desperately wants approval from. Her father's love is sealed inside of her, even if she sometimes questioned it. This is different.
Perched on the edge of a hotel chair, head in her hands she stared at her toes, trying to will herself to take deep breaths and not freak out. There is no reason why this should be so fucking hard.
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Date: 2012-08-23 12:37 am (UTC)If she were to ask him, he'd say she's thinking too much about all of this. But instead he seeks ways to comfort her, considering all he's learned while raising her for seventeen years, all he's learned from observing the interactions of healthier people. This is a sort of situation that calls for empathy; that, of course, makes things difficult, but like any good porn star, he can fake it.
It helps that this situation is at least...vaguely parallel to one he experienced, himself, although he sincerely doubts this meeting with end with threats of blackmail and an arrangement for money and drugs.
After Richard has finished fixing up his hair and emerges from the bathroom, he sees Salome, takes in her posture and sighs. "Now, baby, don't be upset. It's going to be fine, I promise you." He makes his way to her side, perching upon the arm of the chair and placing a hand upon the back of her neck. While his fingers work against her flesh to coax the knots out of the muscle, he says, "You know, I met my father when I was...oh, maybe a year older than you are now. I hadn't even known he was alive until about three or four months prior."
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Date: 2012-08-23 12:50 am (UTC)She is going to cry and cry and then she is going to throw up all over the place (bathroom) and then she is going to cry some more.
Lifting her head up from her hands she looks up at him with big, wet eyes. "I - I think she is just going to reject me again, and I can't handle that. I know it shouldn't matter, I know, but in my head I can't stop thinking about it. I want a mom to love me. I want her to regret giving me up. I know it's not right but this is what is going on inside my head and I don't want you to be mad but I can't stop these thoughts and I've tried." Deeeep breath and she presses her face up against his chest and wraps her arm around him.
She is so lucky to have him.
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Date: 2012-08-23 01:24 am (UTC)The tears in her eyes, though, break what little heart Richard has, and he coos. "My darling girl, it's all right. I'm not going to be mad, not at all." His arms wrap tight around her and he stews in utter disgust, furious that this woman already has her crying and they haven't even left to meet her for dinner yet. His hand strokes up and down her back and he bends his head to hum in her ear, saying, "She didn't reject you, my darling. She gave you up because even she knew she wasn't worthy of you. Even she knew she wouldn't have been able to care for you."
In a few swift motions, he plucks her out of the chair and fills the seat, then settles her into his lap. Hand sliding beneath the fabric of her top to rub against the small of her back, he cradles her to his chest. "If she doesn't regret it, then she's an incredible fool. Because you, princess, are marvelous." His arms tighten around her. "I hope she looks at you and feels utterly wretched. I hope she kisses your feet and begs you to accept her apologies. She doesn't deserve your presence."
As he kisses the top of her head, he murmurs soft words between the sounds of his lips. "Susan loves you. If you were to give Delilah a chance, she would love you. This woman is less than nothing. This woman is your genetic history, and little more. I don't want your heart to be broken by her. She's pathetic, she doesn't deserve to have that kind of sway over you."
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Date: 2012-08-23 01:50 am (UTC)"You're right, I know you're right," she wraps her arms around his neck and lets her forehead rest against his for a moment before opening her eyes and smiling at him. "You're right," she takes a deep breath in and feels a bit more confident about this whole thing. If her father says it she knows it's right, she has that kind of faith in him, that sort of belief in what he says. Plus, he has never been wrong about his confidence in her. It's amazing how that works, if he say she is capable of it then she can.
"What did you feel like when you met your dad for the first time?" She looks at him, her fingers moving over his cheek gently, his eyes are clear and she likes that look on him, mainly because she knows he is sharp and on his game. And can get hard.
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Date: 2012-08-23 02:10 am (UTC)"Of course I'm right, baby, I'm me." He grins in that cheeky way while she smiles into his face. The remnants of the hangover is still attached to him, but on the whole, he feels refreshed. A vacation within a vacation. Plus, some of the shit she said, goddamn. He has high hopes for the road ahead, once Amanda has been dealt with. It's hard to keep the devious gleam out of his eyes.
While she asks her question, he pecks the corner of her mouth and then leans his head against the palm of her hand, humming thoughtfully. "I felt...I don't know. Angry, definitely, but at the same time it was like meeting someone who'd come back from the dead. My mother raised me to believe that my father was dead, so to meet him was--bizarre, to say the least. Everything I'd been told was a complete lie, and I was extremely bitter about the fact that he hadn't thought me to be as worthy of him as his other children. That he was content to sweep me under the rug and continue on with his life."
His fingers upon her back while he smirks. "But I quickly wised up. And I realized that he hadn't manned up because he hardly qualified as a man at all."
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Date: 2012-08-23 02:19 am (UTC)"I wish I had your confidence," she admits quietly, smiling brightly as her fingers move over his cheek and she takes the kiss from him. He has a massive amount of confidence that she envies greatly. Though, maybe it can be too much sometimes. A little humility never hurt anyone. Richard with a little humility wouldn't be Richard though. She kisses him once more and smiles slightly.
One of the many perks of having an empathetic daughter is that when she looks at him, caressing his cheek, eyes all wet again, this time with tears for him because that breaks her heart. That his father didn't accept him, take him in and be a good dad. It's because she can't imagine her life without him. "You are worthy, you know that, right? I am sure you do, but you should know that he is a fucking moron for not being a good dad to you. You're twenty times the man he is." Her arms around his neck she hugs him tight.
"You're the best dad in the whole world."
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Date: 2012-08-23 02:29 am (UTC)Richard chuckles and shakes his head. "I wasn't very confident at the time. I wasn't exactly sure of the whole thing before he showed up at our meeting. And I still wasn't sure as it went on. It was awkward, but as it went on, I started to see clearly just how pathetic he was."
Oh, those tears. He loves those tears so much. There's nothing so exquisite as Salome's tears as long as she's not throwing a tremendous tantrum while they overcome her. He smiles softly, his hand fitting to her cheek. "I know it, baby. But at the time, it was hard to get perspective. It's difficult to see straight when you're in the thick of it."
As her arms slip around his neck, he grins and kisses her shoulder. Ah, so satisfying to hear those sweet words from her. Considering that his own absent father was his inspiration to be a halfway decent father, it pleases him through and through to hear her tell him he's twenty times the man Julius is. Granted, it's something he knows to begin with, but it's always lovely to hear it from Salome, whose words of praise are as much of a drug as she is. "It's not hard, baby, not when it's you we're talking about. It's a pleasure to be your father."
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Date: 2012-08-23 02:39 am (UTC)"You were just a kid," and not long after that he managed to have a child. It was a busy time of his life wasn't it? "It is, it's hard to gain perspective, I'm lucky that I have you around to help me through it. It feels so good to talk about it, so good." He is surprisingly understanding. Though when two people have the sort of relationship that they have, there is a sort of deeper need for communication. Maybe that just sprung up before the sex and go better after it.
She means everything she says about him, in her eyes there is no better father in the world, and she absolutely adores him. Kissing him tenderly she puts her cheek against his for a moment and smiles bigger when he gives her sweet, sweet compliments. "Yeah, I am pretty wonderful," that's a Richard play right there. Pulling back she grins broadly and starts to slide off his lap, "I feel better, let's do this bitch! Rawr!"
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Date: 2012-08-23 03:00 am (UTC)"I'm glad it helps to talk, baby." It's never helped him much, not on an emotional level or anything like that, but it does help him work through problems from a logical standpoint; he does love dispensing fatherly advice. Talking comes easy, and comforting her comes easier. It always has.
"Now that's much better, just the spirit you need." He laughs, then laughs harder at her little battle-roar, standing after her and goosing her ass as he walks by to pluck the sports jacket from the edge of the bed. He slides it on one arm at a time, glancing in the mirror while he smooths its black fabric. "You got this, babydoll. And daddy's going to be right behind you. And if this bitch fucks with you, papa wolf will tear her fucking throat out." His teeth gleam with his earnest smile while he places his hand on the doorknob.
Honesty is always best when disguised as humor.
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Date: 2012-08-23 03:05 am (UTC)He gets his sports coat and she squeaks when he gooses her on her way to get her purse and to check her hair out in the mirror. A quick reapplication of lip gloss, a run of fingers through the hair and she is all ready to get out of this room and to face a very real person in the face. Yes, yes, she is ready. She can totally do this, and if that bitch fucks with her then he'll kill her.
"I don't know why she would fuck with me dad, I think everything is just going to be really awkward." Let's hope so. This dinner should be a blast. A quick kiss to his mouth and she puts her hand on his over the door knob, "will you fuck me when we get back?"
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Date: 2012-08-23 03:17 am (UTC)"Well, you never know. I don't even know what to expect from this woman. I barely know her. But, yeah, I completely expect it to be painfully awkward. That was how mine was. So you'd better brace yourself now."
As that kiss comes, and that question sweeps in behind it, he leers. It's like she's read his mind; he's been wound up ever since he started turning the memories of the day prior over and over in his head, admiring the words said in the heat of passion. His hand lands on her hip and he pushes her against the door, his body pressed to her back while his head ducks to let him kiss down the line of her throat. "Of course, kitten. I'll fuck you so hard you'll feel it yesterday."
Grinning ear to ear, he moves her aside and opens the door for her, then makes his way down to the elevator. He glances to back to make certain she's on his way, then hits the 'down' button, wondering whether she'll have bothered to change out of her work uniform before meeting them in the restaurant. It could go either way, really.
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Date: 2012-08-23 03:25 am (UTC)Smirking she tilts her head slightly for his kisses as her hand reaches behind her to grab at his ass when he pushes up behind her. "I wish I had felt it yesterday. As nice as your mouth is, I really love your cock, daddy." And boy did she want it yesterday, she always wants it but she wants it ten times more when she can't actually have it. That just kills her. He'll make it up to her and especially after this meeting she will totally need it.
Following him down the hall she reaches out to take his hand with one of hers, leaning her head against his shoulder as they wait for the elevator. The doors pull open and she bounces inside and waits for him to get inside before pushing the button for the lobby. She hums to herself sort of fidgeting with how her skirt falls in her reflection in the elevator doors.
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Date: 2012-08-23 03:42 am (UTC)Such language. That girl's going to drive him insane one day, he's sure of it. Christ knows she practically does already. Even today, he's been driven out of his skull for her, but with the way she's been fretting all day, he's been resigned to wait. Sometimes it's good to let the pressure build, he figures.
When they're in the elevator, Richard leans back against the wall and watches the floor numbers decrease. His hand lands upon the back of her neck, squeezing gently to comfort her while she fidgets and arranges herself. "We're probably overdressed. I'd put good money on her still being in her uniform when she meets us." He shares a dickish grin with his reflection in the metal doors, then, as they slide open, guides Salome out and around to the restaurant. "Just relax, darling. Everything's going to go just fine."
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Date: 2012-08-23 11:46 am (UTC)"I know," she looks up at him and then wraps an arm around his middle to give him a hug, her head on his chest as she sighs and lets her eyes close while the elevator counts down. They only open when their little ride stops and the doors open, that's when she lets go of him and steps out of the elevator.
He would totally lose that money, good thing he isn't a gambling man. You only get to meet your daughter you abandoned for the first time, once, so she packed a change of clothes when she came in to work today. It's one thing to accidentally run into Richard and be in work clothes, but there's no need to be dressed like that when you're about to sit and have dinner with someone for the first time. Fiddling with her cross necklace by the front door of the restaurant, Amanda shifts from foot to foot, trying not to look nervous herself, staring out of the huge open doors at the beach that the hotel faces.
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Date: 2012-08-23 05:40 pm (UTC)Wow, shock and awe. He almost looks astonished for a few seconds to see that she actually looks not completely terrible, but the expression quickly sweeps back to his usual mask of complete neutrality. Between the confident, wide gait he always moves with and the blank look on his face, he looks as much like Salome's bodyguard as he does her father.
With a firm squeeze upon Salome's shoulder meant to reassure, he nods toward the direction of Amanda's back and clears his throat. "Good evening, Amanda. I've got somebody here who'd like to meet you."
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Date: 2012-08-23 05:51 pm (UTC)Yeah, she isn't too horrible to look at, maybe a little heavier since she dropped the coke and found out that she had to eat actual food in order to survive. She isn't unattractive, Sal didn't get her good looks from just him. Amanda turns and looks at the two of them for a moment before smiling. "Hi, Salome. I'm really glad we could meet." And she steps forward, uncertain.
"I don't know if we're supposed to hug or not," Sal admits and laughs a little.
"I don't know either. I'd like to, if you want to." And she holds her arms open slightly.
It feels like such a test, does she feel like a mom? Salome steps up and takes the hug, not sure, so not sure, what is supposed to happen? Why do people think magical things happen during certain situations? Maybe there is magic in the hug, Sal just doesn't feel it. Still, good hug.
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Date: 2012-08-23 06:56 pm (UTC)Aw, hugging, how cute. So cute he could vomit right in that plant over there. No, really, it's very precious, he'll just give them privacy by telling the hostess they're a party of three and could they get a somewhat private table? And before you send the waiter over, could you place an order for a strong vodka tonic? Thanks. He lets the hostess lead the way to an empty table on the patio, where everything smells clean and fresh and he supposes he'll be able to suffer all this as long as he gets a drink in him.
As the girls finish their adorable hugging-time, Richard pulls out Salome's seat for her in anticipation of her approach and nods to Amanda. "I appreciate your willingness to see her. Salome and I have been discussing it since yesterday."
It's a struggle to keep the dirty look out of his eyes, but somehow he manages it. Mostly. Generally his expression just reads, 'Don't you dare upset her because I'll break your fucking legs, whore,' but that's easier to see if you know him well and are willing to hold a gaze that seems to tunnel through human flesh and bone.
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Date: 2012-08-23 07:14 pm (UTC)"Oh it is a pleasure, I wasn't expecting any meeting at all really, I am really glad you two decided on it." She smiles at the father and daughter and sits herself as Salome is helped by her father.
"I was really nervous," Salome admits once again, it all sort of tumbles out, she just can't help it.
"I was too, honey, I still am I guess. I get so anxious over personal things like this. I didn't actually think your dad would tell you anything about me. He would have been well within his right, he's a good dad to be that honest with you."
Salome reaches over to squeeze her father's hand with a smile. "Yeah, I've got the best dad in the world. He told me a little bit of what was going on back then. I - I guess it was for the best, I just wanted to meet you face to face."
Amanda has the decency to look embarrassed and a shamed. "I was a mess, a total mess. I don't want you too feel bad but it was for the best."
ooc: sorry for lack of icon change, my add-ons expired and I need to wait till I get home to renew them!
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Date: 2012-08-23 07:23 pm (UTC)If he'd been thinking ahead, or expecting to run into Salome's mother, he might have brought some benzos for her. Just a little something to take the edge off. Unfortunately for Salome, however, he's not psychic, and so she'll have to settle for breathing exercises.
The drink doesn't come soon enough. Listen to that bitch, already calling her 'honey'. Yeah, she calls everybody 'honey', she's a waitress, but fuck her. This is his daughter to call pet names, not hers. He disappears into his drink as soon as it shows, then glances to Salome as she squeezes his hand.
"Well, now, as I've said before, Salome, it's not hard with you for a daughter." He squeezes her hand in return and then resumes his instant love affair with his drink, taking another long pull of it before lowering it away to nod at Amanda's words. "That's what I've been telling her. This whole situation has been quite surreal for us, as you can imagine."
Though not unfamiliar, sadly.
Setting his glass down, he tilts his head. "So what happened to you after Salome was born? Was it then that you moved to Virginia? Or after?"
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Date: 2012-08-23 07:42 pm (UTC)Salome actually likes being called 'honey,' and the slight accent this woman seems to have.
"I went to Arizona after you were born. I had a bad habit when I got pregnant with you, I was an addict plain and simple. I'm sure your dad told you that. I couldn't love anything except what got me high, I was selfish. You should realize that, it took a long time for me to realize it unfortunately. So know that it was me that was wrong, not you." A deep breath and she looks back up at Salome since had been fiddling with the edge of her menu.
"I went to Arizona and got messed up even worse then before and got locked up. It was after that when I traveled back home, here, tried to get my life back on track." Her eyes are getting wet, all her practicing this in her head isn't apparently helping her. All these emotional people, Richard better get another drink.
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Date: 2012-08-23 07:57 pm (UTC)"Tsk, Arizona." That figures. He wouldn't mind heading out there himself, just to see, but to stay? No, he prefers cities and civilization to the wild west. Not much of a cowboy, unfortunately. Although he does approve of the fact that she emphasizes that Salome is not to blame in any of this. "Quite a ways away. Glad to hear you've gotten it together so well, though."
Oh, Jesus Christ, is she seriously already crying? They've been sitting here for like five minutes and she's already getting all misty. This does not bode well at all. For fuck's sake...he sips his drink and lowers his glass, saying, "It seems to me you do have your life back on track. Amanda is clean, now," he says, glancing to Salome. "And a godly woman, by all appearances."
He wants his own tongue to shrivel up and vanish, being this pleasant in front of this woman. It's so hard not to give into the urge to grind salt into the wounds. But he has to look like a gentleman in front of Salome, has to play good dad. Sometimes it's infuriating, how at odds his true self is with his fatherly public front.
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Date: 2012-08-23 08:09 pm (UTC)Salome on the other hand is reaching out to pat her arm sympathetically as she listens to this woman's story. It will slowly sink in that it isn't her, but this woman in front of her that is at fault, and at least she is being honest with that, no cover ups or excuses. It takes a certain person too be able to do that. She has been taught to appreciate honesty, and of course keep secrets.
"Yeah," she smiles a bit bashfully at that. "One day at a time, it's real hard, but worth it. I'm not perfect by any means but I feel good about my life now."
Smiling, she give's Sal's reassuring hand a squeeze before she sits back.
"Would you mind tellin' me about yourself? What you're into? Golly you're such a beautiful young lady, all grown. So proper and confident, you're certainly your daddy's girl."
Even Sal can't help but giggle at that.
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Date: 2012-08-23 09:50 pm (UTC)Holy shit, this woman just said 'golly'. What the fuck.
What.
The.
Fuck.
He grins mildly, though, when she says that Salome is his daddy's girl, and he pats her hand in response. "Oh, she certainly is. The absolute apple of my eye." His hand slides from the table to rest in his lap. Though still overwhelmed by the word choice, it's not so bad that he can't reach beneath the tablecloth and squeeze his daughter's thigh with one hand while he nurses a drink with the other.
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Date: 2012-08-23 10:25 pm (UTC)You like that Golly? Fuck yeah you liked it, you liked it REAL GOOD Richard, and get used to it because it is probably going to happen again.
Salome is talking about school, and how she likes to swim and sail, surf, all things that begin with the letter S, who knows how that happened. When his hand finds her thigh her voice catches slightly in her throat and she has to reach out to take a drink of her water now. Her cheeks are growing pink, no doubt, and she finds her heart hammering in her chest, they could get caught. Caught! By her biological mother no less and that makes her swallow her water down hard. Her legs spread slightly and her knee presses and brushes against his.
"Maybe we should order, I think our waiter is giving us looks." It's Sal's suggestion because she is slowly figuring out that she would actually like to eat.
"Do you take her to all of those activities? She must keep you real busy, Richard."
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Date: 2012-08-23 10:39 pm (UTC)The sound of her voice as it catches in her throat makes him grin crookedly into his glass, but the coloring that kisses her cheeks is perhaps the most alluring part. As her knee bumps his, he squeezes, the tips of his fingers stroking the flesh of her thigh through the fabric of her skirt. They creep down toward her knee, ghosting around the hem of her skirt before curling just beneath.
Oh, yes. They certainly could get caught, and it would be a disaster. Scandalous. Why, the very idea could make a man's hair stand up.
"That sounds like a good plan," he says, moving his hand from Salome's lap only to wave the waiter over. He places his own order, along with a request for another vodka tonic, since this one is halfway down. While the women place their orders, his hand finds its place again, stroking the soft skin of her knee before making a slow ascent up her thigh.
As the waiter leaves, and Amanda asks her question, he forces a polite smile. "Oh, indeed, she certainly keeps my hands full." His fingers creep up, curling against the silk skin of her thigh. "It's a team effort, between her mother and myself. Susan has her most days, although she's going to be spending a bit more time with me, so I'm sure I'll be carting her to and fro far more often."
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